Good bye My Almost Lover...

Someone would leave. Someone always leaves. Then we would have to say good-bye. I hate good-byes. I know what I need. I need more hellos.

I'm not supposed to cry because it's over.  I supposed to smile because it happened instead.

You know what nothing makes the earth seem so spacious as to have you at a distance, they make the latitudes and longitudes.

I almost gave up on you today... but then i remembered why i held on so long.

The world is round and the place which may seem like the end may also be the beginning.

Moving on is not about never looking back. It is taking glance at the yesterday and seeing how much you've grown since then.

And here I almost rest where love and hate collides. 

How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard?

Perhaps goodbye isn't painful unless you're never going to say hello again.

I were once happy without you. I will be happy again.

Some people come into our lives and quickly go.  Some stay for a while, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never, ever the same.

Because there's a part of me that always be in love with you. 

Never part without loving words to think of during your absence.  It may be that you will not meet again in this life.

Because they said that every parting is a form of death, as every reunion is a type of heaven.

Happy have we met,
Happy may we part,
Happy may we meet again.

My Dearest Angelo...

Honestly I don’t know how to speak the words I have to let go now. All I know is that it’s all great for a while. I can see all the butterflies crystal clear and the love you bestowed upon me is definitely for real until they finally came to ruin us. Yes, fleeing away from what injures you in such veracity is precisely not an answer at all. At some point you really have to stop running and turn around and face whoever wants you dead instead. It’s like how can you explain something when you don’t even understand it yourself? Like having the words in your mouth that you cannot utter that as if your tongue tied and nobody cares about what you are saying. And now it’s just me alone who keeps on missing those things. Those things that made me smile, special, and loved, those pointless cute moments that made me love you. Every detail of all the things we had. And you, without any premonition, without any single word, without saying goodbye, you walked out of my life and left me with nothing. We’ve gone a little too far and I just can’t figured out the plot why all of a sudden we had to go back being strangers again. I couldn’t believe that this is going to be as fast as it is. I just don’t get it. I absolutely don’t get it! Why is it that when you ran away there are still people who keeps on chasing you and haunting you just to make you feel suffer and in return enjoyment for them when in fact you already suffered the moment you started running away from them? Why? Why is it that whenever I’m about to get rid of you then there you are again. For what?  To make me believe that you want me as well as you like me? You know what? This sort of set up is so mystifying. It turned out to ruin everything I’d started. But I must admit the fact that I’d never lose hope with the idea of anytime of the day you will feel like thinking of me then missing me and eventually wanting me and after that you’re gonna ask me to go out and…you know what it is. That’s all and that’s it right? That’s what I am to you. You only think of me when your bum, when you’re stressed out, when you’re not busy, when you wanna have fun, when you feel like to be sinner, when you have nothing to call but me. Sorry to say this but I deem it’s nothing but lust. You know it’s not what you think. I’m definitely not like that. I’m descent, I’m ethical, and a mere diplomat. It’s just that I made a wrong impression on you and up to now it’s all wrong all along. That’s what keeps everything erroneous until now. But you know I can give you all the benefit of the doubt that you’re so special that I can forgive you a thousand times with all the shit that you did to me. I forgive you for making me waiting in vain, for letting you manage to keep your hands off out of me whenever you wanted to and hold me back whenever you feel liking it. I forgive you for always leaving me hanging by a moment, I forgive you even though a lot of times you took me for granted. I forgive you for making me feel that you’re not even bothered if I’m hurt or how I am when I knew for the fact that however you have the idea of what was that that I’ve gone through, that lately I’m hurting and having you acting that you’re so fucking fine doing great with the guys out there which is as if I’m nothing to you after all. Any idea of how much you make feel so damn wasted? You know I’m hurting like hell. Did anyone tell you that you’re so fucking bad? Yes you are. Absolutely! And I hate you for that! But the more I hate myself for not getting mad at you for so long, for forgiving you with those craps that caused me pain because I knew for the fact that however bad you are there’s still something within you that I just can’t let go, knowing the mere fact that no matter how hard I try I just can’t have you or I can’t make you feel the same way that I do. I forgive you for being such a stranger again and again and again. And you know that’s what kills me most. I never told you to go but I never ask you to stay. I mean I really wanted you to stay but I chose not to let you know besides, it will not create any difference on how you feel towards me then right? Yes, of course. See? My heart said yes. So what’s the point between letting you know and not letting you know? I have to accept that maybe it’s not really the right time for you to love me or really not at all. But hey! You know what? There isn’t come a day that I don’t at some point think of you and I think I should have myself not want you otherwise you’re all I think about but I’ll never admit how much I care about you or the fact that I never stopped. I confess that I love to have those daydreaming wherein after being such strangers, with  the least expected moment we will meet again and the two become one and eventually our love will become sweeter the second time around but I’ve grown bored of this everyday same routine. I’m loving you so much and I miss you so bad. I hope I don’t make the same mistake as I did in our previous relationship before the drifting. I hate remorse so please! I’m hoping to see you at the perfect time when I can look into your eyes straightly cause for now I really can’t. When everything for us has to be alright. 

And Now We Keep On Chasing Pavements

When we are fighting and being pushed to the edge, remember one thing. Real relationships aren’t perfect and perfect relationships aren't real.

I don’t really need someone to complete me. I only need someone to accept me completely.

Just when I think I’ve got it all figured out, I do the dumbest thing I possibly could. I fall in love.

And like seasons they said people change.

Love is putting up with someone’s bad qualities because they somehow complete me.

It’s not my fault if I fell in love with you. You are the one that tripped me.

I'm not sure but maybe someday someone is going to thank you for letting me go.

Because It has always been a bad manner to say “I love you” with a mouth full of lies.

Yes your words pissed me off, So instead of acting like a man whore, act more like a human, and less of a whore.

Someday someone will walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else.

It’s hard to make conversation when youe're taking my breath away.

I just want you that’s it. All your flaws, mistakes, smiles, giggles, jokes, sarcasm. Everything. I just want you.

The only way to know that someone truly loves you is when after you've turned that person down, you'll see 'em rise from the fall, walk up to you and say, “I love you more now than I ever did before.”

Love is a beautiful thing to have, to take care of, to feel that happiness it gives you. Theres no cheating, no mind games and sex isnt everything in it. Love comes from your own heart. Love is not a game. Love is not an epic fail. Love never fails.

I’ve grown bored of this everyday same routine.

Distancing has 3 reasons:  Either you hate that person, you want to move on, or you’re too afraid to fall in love.

Sometimes you just need to distance yourself from people. If they care, they’ll notice. If they don’t, you know where you stand.

If kisses were the water I would give you the sea, if hugs were the leaves I would give you a tree, but if love was time, I would give you eternity.

Love is a form of amnesia when a girl forgets there are 1.2 billion other boys in the world.

And you love someone so much that not even the truth can change your mind.

I could name a thousand reasons why I hate you, but I could name a million reasons why I love you.

Love is everywhere, it has no distance. All you have to do is stop the resistance.

Missing someone is a part of loving them. If you’re never apart, you’ll never really know how strong your love is.

Pain Is Weakness Leaving The Body

Not all scars show. Not all wounds heal. Sometimes you cant always see the pain someone feels.

Everybody wants happiness. Nobody wants pain but you can't have a rainbow without a little rain.

When a girl is silent, she's either over-thinking, tired of waiting, falling apart, crying inside, or all of the above.

We stop checking monsters underneath our bed. when we realized they were inside us.

So why does it always  rain the hardest on the ones who  deserve  the sun? 

When you’re in pain sometimes you dream of being injected by an anesthesia, or you’d rather wish to be in a comma…because you want to escape the reality of what hurts you in this world, and nothing beats the feeling the moment you feel nothing. Nothing hurts and nothing to worry about. Just like now. How I wish it’s permanent. Though I know for the fact that this is just for the mean time and later on  I had to go back doing the same drama, the repetition of missing you, wanting you, longing for you, and ironically loving a person who treats you as… which indeed I need to surpass for every deadly single hour. :) *faking smile*

 

And the story of us looks like a tragedy now. :\

You meet someone.

No one falls in love by choice, it is by chance. No one stays in love by chance, it is by work. And no one falls out of love by chance, it is by choice.

You too get close.

                   You will never untangle the circumstances that brought you to this moment.

Sweet moments.

Just like movies of blissful ending, I wanna be my own playwright so I could write our very own love story of happily ever after.

It’s all great for a while.

So this is my life.  And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I’m still trying to figure out how that could be.

Then someone stops trying.

I hate how I easily remember the things you would rather forget.

Talk less. Awkward conversations.

You know what’s the one wrong thing we all do when we fall in love? We EXPECT. And it just ruins everything.

The Drifting.

Decisions sometimes prove to be the hardest to make, especially when it’s a choice between where you should be and where you really wanted to be.

No communication whatsoever.

Sometimes I wish I had never met you. Because then I could go to sleep at night not knowing there was someone like you out there who hurt me.

Memories start to fade.

Your worst battle is between what you know and what you feel.

Then that person you know becomes that person you KNEW.

Sad thing is, you can still love someone, and be the wrong person for them.

That’s how it usually goes, right?

Having a habit of loving so hard and falling too fast, and eventually getting my hopes up for something I know won’t last.

Sad isn’t it.

Often in life we forget the things we should remember and remember the things we should forget.