Should I give up, Or should I just keep chasing pavements?

Just now I realized and finally found the lyrics who will speak for me. It was Adele who sweetly harrow my wounded heart which he tore apart. I don't know how to describe it. But when I do listen closer to it actually it was the first time today that I  pay attention to what the lyrics itself says, And ohhh  one word just suddenly came out from my mouth and God it was "PERFECT!" this song was so awesome perfect for me.She got it! She hits my heart. She really sings from the heart and that is one thing i like about hearing her songs. Its as if we are or should I say Its like we have been in the same kind of situation that the pain itself sucks right straight from the heart. And the man behind every lyrics of the song you just cant help on picturing him on your mind despite all the untollerable deeds he had done to you as if you still want him to stay in your life for good asking yourself with this questions quoted from the song:

"Should i give up,
Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere...
Or would it be a waste?
Even if I knew my place should i leave it there?
Should i give up,
Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere..."

I wasn't finish dreaming about your lips, so don't wake me up!

Every time I'm dreaming of you I don't wanna wake up. So don't wake me up!

I think Chris Brown sang it well, said it well, felt it well. Thumbs up! Dude!

The only reason God didnt make us sisters is because one mom couldn’t handle us both. :)

There’s a point in every true friendship, where friends stop being friends and become sisters. :*

The more I know of you is the more I know I love you.

Can you please forgive me with what I said yesterday? I thought knowing that you had children will be enough to make me forget about you BUT I am having this second thoughts again. I don’t know what’s with me anymore because seeing you with the child it looks like it made me love you even more.  I love guys who love kids and it seems like you’re the type of man I see in my daydreams. My father is a dear indeed he loves my mom my two brothers and his one and only daughter and that’s me of course. Even before I thought of settling down with a man who exactly possesses my dad’s traits of being a good son, a devoted husband and of course a loving father and I wonder if it could be you. I already saw your soft side being a loving father but I’m not so sure if you’re going to be a devoted husband. I hope you will. I don’t know the story behind your relationship with the biological mother of the twins but the way I see it I guess it was not a success one. I remembered the last time I told you about my friend’s boyfriend issue of having a child with another girl and I gave a negative comment on that but you stand me corrected and I refuse to listen instead. It was my fault, I should have let you express yourself about that matter and not discriminate having the “child issue”. Perhaps there is more of a chance that you came to admit it before me. I damn regret of not listening to you. Will you believe me if I say that I can manage to play the mother role for the twins? Yes, even though I haven’t met them yet l like them I adore them really. I never thought of being like this that I’m going to be capable of thinking that I can take care of the child that was never mine. Maybe because I love kids and really longing to have lots especially twins. If you’re not aware since I was young my only dream is to become a very good wife to my husband as well as a mother to my children and also I dream of delivering a twin fraternal twins actually that was so cute I guess that’s why it’s okay for me to take good care of your dear child and it doesn't matter if they were never came out from me.  See at this age I can possibly think of this c’mon Danica what’s with you? I DO NOT KNOW! Like THE HELL I CARE! J I just love him no matter what with no questions asks. And forgive me if I said that I’m no longer necessarily excited about your existence at all BECAUSE I’m starting to get excited again. And the more I know about you the more I understand and it makes me love you even more.

I now pronounce you as "Someone Else"

I don't know how I actually came up feeling this... just now I discovered something that made me feel actually empty. Empty of loving...thinking...crying...dreaming and holding on. I have known it before but I was so silly to believe. This girls instinct they might say, Of course I do know. I do know that before me there was another girl and a babies, a fraternal twins rather named Josh&Julia and I'm not sure about the mother's whereabouts. And yes, you kept it from me, you hid it, you even lied. Of course I can ask you if I wanted to do so but I don't want a discussion its just that I don't want you to rebut in. I'm not really sure what triggered me to activate again  my page this half past three in the morning I just came feeling to miss the sound of your voice which I almost forgotten for not keeping in touch and go directly to your wall and search leading to your albums then I saw a video you just publicly published and hid it for almost a year captioning "Bonding with my Little Julia" that was very touching I guess. I was convinced that you are the biological father of the the two adorable babies based on what I read on the comments of your colleagues. They were calling you "Daddy" and that term persuaded me more then ever. As I go on watching the video of you teaching Julia new words to mimic and utter I just though of you being a very thoughtful father who really finds time to a company your own little child. And I was damn surprised about what I feel, I'm not mad  neither jealous. In fact I was so happy to watch you with the babies because I know you are going to be a very good father just in time upon finding your other half to take care of the child with both of your loving hands and warming hearts. I don't hate you I'm just not necessarily excited about your existence whether your still coming back or not. I just feel like I don't suit you. Do I? The fact that I cant make you love me is enough to let you go. And perhaps we really don't deserve each other as a lover and maybe there's more to love but the friendship we built in each other hearts and what happened between the two of us has a reason and a real lesson to live with. I wont forget you! The joy you brought to my life, the memories we both made and shared I will not forget how wonderful and nice you've been to me in spite of all the circumstances. May we find what they so called blissful ending, I wish both of us Good luck! Once again I'm glad I met you. Good bye My Dearest Angelo. :)

Be a good loving and charming father for this two adorable kids:

PS:

Although done writing my last message I somehow think just for once again why I cant make you love me? You know, just me. 

and what it feels like If I'm not In love with you. 

I don't really know why I came up doing this one. :|

I decided to clean my room today to pull out some stuff which I may find not useful at all and put it on a box to get some space for the new stuffs I bought. I opened my closet and pull out some clothes, dresses, shirts, pants, skirts, shorts, shoes and sandals but then unwary I found myself looking at a pair of dress. 

I can’t think of any moment wherein I used to wear that dress but the only moment I wore it with you during the celebration of my 19^th birthday last year with my friends when we had a dinner @MOA’s Seafood Island& had some drink @Giligans Bistro wherein we got totally insane playing Pinoy Henyo game and truth or dare while were ridiculously drank. It was the best birthday I ever had in my entire life and the best package birthday gift to me given by the one I love. That’s why I came up capturing a photograph of these random stuffs below. 

The more I pull out some clothes the more I can’t help myself reminiscing again those moments when I used to wear those wardrobes when I go out on a date with you. I can exactly remember the sequence which one of those clothes I wore first and which one I wore up to last. I can even obviously remember how I felt during our first meeting.  All the places we went wearing these pair of clothes. How come I still remember those clingy moments when I thought I was actually over you?  Obviously I don’t know too. :)

Bye Bye, Bye Bye! A beautiful goodbye! :*

Though its always been easier said than done, I'm just happy because I cant feel the bitterness anymore inside of me. I know I'm no longer mad at you, I don't want you to solely take the blame its me being too selfish. I know I've been bad as well.  I didn't consider a lot of things in favor of you, all this time I've been acting like an immature lady. I demand a lot of things from you like "we have to do this!" "we have to be like this!" " I expect you to..." and so on and so forth. I've always wanting you to do  perfect stuffs for me without  knowing that you are the real thing. You're the perfect one for me. I should become more sensitive to your feelings and  appreciate all those crazy little things you did for me. And just now I eventually figured out that  I made mistakes too. And maybe its just that I'm still  not a little bit ready for a relationship like this. You know what its funny but I was convinced and decided to rely on destiny as the saying goes "If we are meant to be, we will always be." and someday if one day we saw each other unexpectedly with our hearts yelling "the feeling is still mutual" then you know what t is. ;) Please be good and always take care of your self . You will always have this  special space in my heart. I wont forget you. You know what I mean.  And lastly I just want to wave you a beautiful goodbye! :)

If you want more from life, you have to demand more from yourself.

"There are three stages in the work of God: impossible, difficult, done." 
James Hudson Taylor