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So here we go again. I over lost myself whenever youre going to bring up that topic. Its not that I dont wanna talk about it, its just that I want to avoid that convesrsation as much as possible because I cant do anything about it for now. But just for now, you know. The truth is it pains me to know that you're hurting, a triple shot. How can I be so proud of you? Of course I am. But Im afriad to be questioned. I would love to came out, hold your hands in the public, kiss you until everyone started staring to us. I wanted us to become the usual Im sorry because you chose me. I'm sorry because I cant give the life you always wanted. I dont...I mean I really dont drink, I dont even know how to smoke, Im shy with your friends, I cant even go out and hang out with you with your friends.Whats the matter with you huh? Why'd you still chose to be in a knot with me? Do you like it? Do you like living in a shoe box with me? Always hiding? Pretending? Whats wrong with you??? You know what?  I would love to let you go, meet someone, like someone, love someone, have a best relationship. But its as if, I'm cursing you while wishing you luck. I'm so selfish.

You sometimes think you want to disappear, but all you really want is to be found.

So, I failed again. I failed to keep this relationship for another "this time around". You know its not easy. Its hard for me to be with you today, tomorrow and for the following days but, sometime soon I'll make it up to you and I mean it.  Just let me finish this one. I'm really jealous. I'm jealous of everything, of anything, with anyone who get to see and talk to you everyday. But I guess you didn't care how I live here. I wish you knew everything about me, about every little things which is happening to me. I wish you know how bad it is to be here so far away from you and I cant do a thing to be there with you. I really don't know where were going. I don't know when will I see you again. I don't know whether we will be together forever. I need you you to do something for me, and that is to...