...maybe it's only fitting that relationship that started with a lie would end with one.

Honestly I do not what to think. The man that I used to love locked inside my heart was not a dream come true anymore. I thought we only part to meet again but it seems like there is no reunion that will happen again.Okay lets break it down to a conclusion that he has a family. Before I met him he was already a father. I knew once that he was a father of a twins but to see what i saw last night, a father of four children? Oh crap! What am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to feel either. Although I'm not so sure about the number of children he have but I'm sure about the twins. This ideas driving me real crazy. I don't even know if he's married, separated, or just living in with the mother of the child or what. Now its becoming even more impossible for me to have him. He have lots of obligation of being a father and a partner as well , and I don't want to interfere. C'mon what should I do? Should I let go now? But I've been holding on for so long. I keep him locked inside my chest and it's him that makes me breathe all this time. But WHY? How many revelations should i need for me to let him go? WHAT NOW? :|

To leave after all, is not the same as being left.

I hate the fact that you ignore me for so long then you start talking to me like nothing happened. I’m sick of playing the game of us being friends, to more than friends, up to intimate lovers but always ending up being strangers but then, there you are again. You came across entering my inbox last night which makes me ponder all the time I read it, you know one text from you is enough but, to make it two for today saying “Hellow..” it’s not good at all. It’s not like playing around with my naive heart when I haven’t forgotten a wink of you. Not even once. I don't know what you're up to. Yesterday was Friday and today is Saturday, the day we used to stay up all night hanging out together. It sucks how you bring back my old strange hidden feelings which I’m trying to ignore for so long and with just unexpected beep from you, you made me live again. I don’t want to assume okay? I don’t care if you miss me or just want to mess around or something. Maybe yes, maybe not.  Or perhaps you just need someone to accompany you with such time like this. Is this what are you trying to pin out?  If I guessed it right, I’m telling you I don’t wanna get involved then. You should know by now that I’m not the type to talk to when you’re bored because I’m not here to entertain anymore and don’t come to me only when you need a favor because I don’t like being used. You should bear it to your mind that I’m not just a bus stop I’m a destination. And if you’re not planning to take me seriously you’d better stay out of my life and never come back. I can't stand this kind of set up. I’d get so hopeful one day, then feel so much despair the next. Then the following morning I’d tell myself that you love me. I don’t know what to do. I miss you and I’m still loving you but I don’t believe you when you say you miss me too and love me either. I wanna see you, talk to you and share tonight with you.  What do I do? My heart is already scarred beyond repair. 

But loving him was RED. Loving him was RED.

*DISCLAIMER:
I DO NOT OWN THE RIGHTS TO THIS SONG. ALL RIGHTS ARE RESERVED TO TAYLOR SWIFT / BIG MACHINE RECORDS / UMG. NO COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT IS INTENDED.

*So I did this because the lyrics itself speaks for me. I sought those photographs from all over the internet 'cause honestly I ant help but to totally relate my very own love story with this song. (I'm referring to you *you know who you are I hope so* so wherever you are, whatever you do this song goes out for you.) 
The song was really good and Taylor Swift what to expect?
She's A-W-E-S-O-M-E as usual! :">

So here it is lets give it up. (Hands clapping) :"3

RED by: Taylor Swift

Loving him is like driving a new Maserati down a dead end street

Faster than the wind

Passionate as sin, ended so suddenly.

Loving him is like trying to change your mind
Once you’re already flying through the free fall
Like the colors in autumn
So bright just before they lose it all.

Losing him was blue like I’d never known

Missing him was dark grey all alone

Forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you've never met

But loving him was red

Loving him was red.

Touching him is like realizing all you ever wanted 

was right there in front of you.

Memorizing him was as easy as knowing all the words 

to your old favorite song.

Fighting with him was like trying to solve a crossword 

and realizing there’s no right answer.

Regretting him was like wishing you never found out 

love could be that strong.

Losing him was blue like I’d never known

Missing him was dark grey all alone

Forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you've never met

But loving him was red

Oh red burning red.

Remembering him comes in flashbacks and echoes

Tell myself it’s time now, gotta let go

But moving on from him is impossible

When I still see it all in my head.

And that's why he's spinning round in my head

Comes back to me burning red.

Cause love was like driving a new 
Maserati down a dead end street.

 Hope you like it. Thank You! :)

I should have blame you for stealing the first kiss, but I just can’t ‘cause it felt so actually good.

And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now. :|

*DISCLAIMER:

I DO NOT OWN THE RIGHTS TO THIS SONG. ALL RIGHTS ARE RESERVED TO TAYLOR SWIFT / BIG MACHINE RECORDS / UMG. NO COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT IS INTENDED.

This is what actually happened to us. :(

I used to think one day we'd tell the story of us, 

How we met  and the sparks flew instantly

And people would say they're the lucky ones 

I used to know my place was a spot next to you, 

Now I'm searching the room for an empty seat

Cause lately I don't even know what page you're on

A simple complication, 

Miscommunications lead to fallout, 

So many things that I wish you knew 

So many walls up that I can't break through

Next chapter

[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/t/taylor_swift/story_of_us.html ]

How'd we end up this way?

See me nervously pulling at my clothes and trying to look busy

And you're doing your best to avoid me

I'm starting to think one day I'll tell the story of us 

Of how I was losing my mind when I saw you here

But you held your pride like you should have held me, 

Oh I'm scared to see the ending why are we pretending this is nothing 

I'd tell you I miss you but I don't know how 

I've never heard silence quite this loud.

This is looking like a contest

Of who can act like they care less

But I liked it better when you were on my side

The battle's in your hands now

But I would lay my armor down

If you say you'd rather love than fight

So many things that you wish I knew

But the story of us might be ending soon.

Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room

And we're not speaking

And I'm dying to know 

Is it killing you like it's killing me?  

And I don't know what to say since a twist of fate, when it all broke down

And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now.  

And we're not speaking, 

And I'm dying to know is it killing you like it's killing me?

And I don't know what to say since a twist of fate, cause we're going down.

And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now

The End.

Mama I love you, Mama I care. Mama I'm so sorry.

And I'll be the greatest fan of your life.

No matter what you do no matter what they say, My eyes adore you! :"3