Friday, September 14, 2012

I now pronounce you as "Someone Else"

I don't know how I actually came up feeling this... just now I discovered something that made me feel actually empty. Empty of loving...thinking...crying...dreaming and holding on. I have known it before but I was so silly to believe. This girls instinct they might say, Of course I do know. I do know that before me there was another girl and a babies, a fraternal twins rather named Josh&Julia and I'm not sure about the mother's whereabouts. And yes, you kept it from me, you hid it, you even lied. Of course I can ask you if I wanted to do so but I don't want a discussion its just that I don't want you to rebut in. I'm not really sure what triggered me to activate again  my page this half past three in the morning I just came feeling to miss the sound of your voice which I almost forgotten for not keeping in touch and go directly to your wall and search leading to your albums then I saw a video you just publicly published and hid it for almost a year captioning "Bonding with my Little Julia" that was very touching I guess. I was convinced that you are the biological father of the the two adorable babies based on what I read on the comments of your colleagues. They were calling you "Daddy" and that term persuaded me more then ever. As I go on watching the video of you teaching Julia new words to mimic and utter I just though of you being a very thoughtful father who really finds time to a company your own little child. And I was damn surprised about what I feel, I'm not mad  neither jealous. In fact I was so happy to watch you with the babies because I know you are going to be a very good father just in time upon finding your other half to take care of the child with both of your loving hands and warming hearts. I don't hate you I'm just not necessarily excited about your existence whether your still coming back or not. I just feel like I don't suit you. Do I? The fact that I cant make you love me is enough to let you go. And perhaps we really don't deserve each other as a lover and maybe there's more to love but the friendship we built in each other hearts and what happened between the two of us has a reason and a real lesson to live with. I wont forget you! The joy you brought to my life, the memories we both made and shared I will not forget how wonderful and nice you've been to me in spite of all the circumstances. May we find what they so called blissful ending, I wish both of us Good luck! Once again I'm glad I met you. Good bye My Dearest Angelo. :)

Be a good loving and charming father for this two adorable kids:

PS:

Although done writing my last message I somehow think just for once again why I cant make you love me? You know, just me. 


and what it feels like If I'm not In love with you. 


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