I stay away from you not because
I hate you and I don’t care about what we had anymore, In fact I care, a lot.
Deactivating my Facebook account was one of the hardest decisions I had to
make. However this is the only way not to keep in touch with you even if I have
the choice to do so. Bad thing is that I can’t fight the urge to defy the
resistance of stalking over and over against your FB statuses and recent
updates.
Like how do you do today? Where have you been last night? What did you
do yesterday? Who are you planning to
get along by tomorrow? You know just to get an answer to those questions that I
always wonder as a part of being away from you all this time. But what’s the
use of deactivating it when almost every time I fell like checking you I do? I
don’t have the intention to block you just like what you thought.
Like what I said
I just need to take some time. I just want to continue a new life becoming a
better and better woman for you, because if I insist to keep in touch with you up
to now I’m afraid that I might fall truly madly deeply in love with you not
having the assurance that you might even feel the same way for me too.
Although
I’m not really sure about whom you’re talking to behind your mysterious
statuses on your page, I don’t know why I still consider myself as a part of
it. Perhaps, you may find it absurd but what a coincidence right? The ones you
used to post on your wall were somewhat similar with how I supposed to mean to
you. Mull over it, yes maybe I’m silly but what can I do? I just wish it was
me. C’mon how I wish it was me. I’m hoping that it was actually meant for me despite the fact that we don't talk anymore.
Even though I have to admit the fact that it threatens me the way it wasn’t
posted intentionally for me and maybe for someone special which is so much
important to you that’s why you keep on talking and care about it the way I
didn’t used to know you. I’m lacking courage but I must, I have to win this
battle.
Though there are times that most of the time I can still picture us
together. I wanted to be there for you whenever you needed me.
I will stop the rain if you wish to see the rainbow and make night a day and day a night if you wish to. I'm willing to give up my milk shake just to have a coffee dine with you. I would still be willing to watch movies with you even if having you there beside me make me not understand what I’m watching to because reality of just sitting beside you is more like of a true fairy tale.I would rather
drink and drunk myself to accompany you even though I have this poor alcohol
body consumption.
I’m always willing to take a long walk with you when there is
no cab to ride on, I like it much better having our hands hold together. I’m willing to go
such places and get lost with you. I would rather stay up all night and do it all with you, give you
everything I have and lose everything that I have.
I‘m willing to like the
things you like the most and do it all with you. I want to draw your face a smile when your sad. I'm willing to embrace you when you need hugs. I want to freak out with you and get wasted when you're bored. I want you to think that while I'm still here you'll never be alone. I want you to forget all that hurt you in the past. I want to be the girl you fall
for when everybody else is falling for you.
That’s the way I wanted us to be and
supposed to mean to you. “May the odds
be ever in my favor.” And just like you I want a new life to correct what went wrong in the past. It’s just made me sad because I have to come up to this point that I need to distance myself from you. Hoping
if you care, you’ll notice. If you don’t, at least I know where to stand. I will miss you. Till we meet again. ;)
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