Breakeven

Sometimes we need to be alone. Sometimes we just don’t want to be comforted because we need the chance to take it in. All that has been, all the pain left behind. The best cure is time on our own to analyze, time to pull ourselves together again and time to see that all we ever wanted before is now nothing but a little by little fading memory. As the saying goes before jumping into conclusions choose whether you will have a better heart or a better head. What if I want to have it both? Would it be possible?

How ridiculous as I suddenly figured out how wrong and how bad having the thought and idea of merely losing him would mean the edge of my death, because in the very first place before I met the person I thought who gave the meaning and color into my life, before the two of us crossed each other’s boundaries I have lived by my own, I already exist as one, I can stand alone. So how come the idea of losing the one that I used to love would mean the end of my world? Of course, somehow there’s always a part of me that needs to be filled up and complimented again but I guess that’s the way how it goes.

All I really need is a remedy and cure, knowing that only time can give me the answer to heal the invisible wounds. I just can’t help but wait. The problem is that we humans oftentimes tend to exaggerate things when in fact it’s so simple, really easy. It’s like mind over matter. If you want it then think of getting it, otherwise keep avoiding it. If you feel bad then frown, If you feel happy then smile, If you feel like laughing then giggle, If you feel like crying then cry, if you feel like loving then love, if you feel like missing someone then tell. So why complicate things? There’s no such thing as good and bad when it comes to loving. 

We’re all bound to be good by our own way. No one can dictate you what to do, how to feel, whether when you neither need to continue nor to stop. It’s just you alone who will decide for yourself. If you failed for the first time, second time, third time, fourth time and so on its okay, it doesn’t matter anyway. Nobody hits it the first time. Just keep pushing through. Don’t count on how many times you’ve been hurt, have been in despair, have been betrayed, have been wasted, have been dumped, have been nothing, count on how many times you loved and be loved, you felt joy and gave joy to others, you cared and taken care of, you’ve been a blessing and have been blessed instead.

Don’t be too harsh to yourself trying hard to forget, because no one really forgets, instead learn to accept. One thing is for sure there will come a time that you don’t have to be told; you won’t even feel the need for a piece of advice, because you know on your own that you’ve done so much. You have had enough and when that time came by all you can say is that “Thanks God! This is all I am praying for, you heard of it finally, and I am happy to let you know that I’m almost getting over through this heartbreak. Now is the time to let it go, no more holding back… and best time to start again. I know You have that new written story awaiting for me, far better from what I want it to be.”